How I married the love of my life in Nigeria (+ Wedding Plan & Budget Template)

The wedding was ours, but the opinions were endless—family, friends, pastors, social media, and well-wishers. We didn’t listen.

Planning a wedding is no small feat—especially in Nigeria, where culture, religion, tradition, and societal expectations converge to create an unforgettable, yet often overwhelming, experience. From deciding when to propose and navigating family dynamics to juggling budgets and wedding rites, it’s easy to feel like you’re planning for everyone but yourself.

So, how did we manage to plan our dream wedding, stay sane, and (mostly) stick to our budget? In this article, I’ll share how I knew I was ready to propose (and that she was going to say yes), the exact steps we took to plan our wedding, and the lessons we learned along the way. I’ll even include our detailed budget templates, covering everything from the proposal to the introduction, engagement ceremony, court wedding, church wedding, reception, and some unsolicited marital advice.

Let’s start from the beginning.

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How did I know I was ready to get married?

The short answer is; it was time, I found the right person, and I could afford it.

In my teenage years, I thought getting married at 27 was probably ideal. I proposed at 27 and got married a month after my 28th birthday. Not bad.

You’ll find the relationship gist on our wedding website. We had dated for three years, and have been friends for eight years.

The timing is different for everyone but I highly recommend getting married if you can find love and friendship in one person. Don’t wait too long.

Getting married also signals that you’re a respectable member of society who has gotten serious about life—but I’m not trying to convince you to get married anyway 🙂.

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How did I propose?

Well, the real question here is; how did I know she was going to say “YES”?

When you’re in a healthy relationship with your best friend, the topic of marriage should have come up a few times, and you should definitely know if they really do want to spend the rest of their life with you.

This is why it’s such a shame when you see public proposals gone wrong on social media—someone obviously misread the relationship or ignored clear signs about the other’s feelings.

You should also have picked up a few things about their preferences, like:

• How do they feel about public vs. private proposals: Do they want an intimate moment or a grand display?

• The type of ring they’d like: Style, size, or whether they even care about a ring at all.

• Location preferences: A favorite restaurant, a meaningful spot, or a destination they love.

• Whether surprises are their thing: Some people love surprises, while others appreciate a planned moment.

• Who should be present: Do they want close family or friends involved, or is it just about the two of you?

When you’re confident about these things, proposing becomes much less daunting.

You can’t plan a surprise proposal without knowing what they love, and it shows that you’re an intentional man who has been listening all along 😉.

To bring the magical proposal to life, I recommend working with a proposal planner if you have the budget for it. It will save a lot of stress and help you maintain the element of surprise.

See a video of how it turned out for me here. We kind of went viral 😏.

realjaymes

A post shared by @realjaymes

The proposal budget was ₦840,000 ($600) for 7 guests including the cost of the engagement and wedding ring set.

Get my full proposal budget here.

Now we’re done with the easy part. How do we get married?

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How did we plan the wedding?

Friends and well-wishers on social media who saw our proposal video recited the familiar “we have a wedding to plan” mantra. But we knew not to take them seriously—they were just excited and saying what sounded cool and familiar. The planning was truly up to my wife and me.

@realjaymes on X/Twitter

There’s a laundry list of things to consider before proceeding to get married:

• What is the budget for the wedding and wedding-related activities?

• Should you hire an event planner?

• How will you handle parents and extended families?

• How will you decide on guests and invitations?

• Should you attend couple counseling?

• Which wedding rites will you follow? (e.g., Legal/Court Wedding, Church/White Wedding, and Traditional Wedding like Introduction & Engagement).

• What will be your official wedding anniversary date?

I recommend working with a wedding planner. They mostly charge a fraction of your total wedding budget, and they offer their experience and professional expertise to planning your big day, managing vendors, and other logistics. They will also save you a whole lot of stress, but not all the stress. You cannot escape wedding stress 🙂.

The wedding budget

It’s always best to start with a budget and allocate your funds to individual items. It’s important to break down the budget into categories.

You may also choose to include all wedding-related expenses like the cost of the proposal, bridal shower, bachelor party, and honeymoon as applicable.

The point of this is that you have an estimate of how much you’re willing to spend so that you don’t start the first few weeks after your wedding running away from vendors that you owe 🙃.

We set our budget at ₦10,000,000 ($7,500) for 200 guests at the reception but ended up spending a little over ₦13,000,000 ($9,500) for all wedding-related expenses minus the proposal, bridal shower, and honeymoon expenses. Get our wedding planning and budget template here.

If you asked me, I would recommend prioritizing your spending on things that have long-term value and maximize happiness for you and your partner first, then your family and friends, and finally everyone else—in that order.

For you and your partner:

Media: Photos and videos will preserve your memories forever. Make sure you invest in the best quality throughout. See some of ours here.

Couple’s Clothes: Outfits for your pre-wedding shoot and wedding day will look amazing in your photo album and social media. However, they have little reuse value—you’ll likely only show them to your children and grandchildren one day.

For your family and friends:

Food and Catering: Food is always a hot topic, and a subject of contention at weddings, especially among family members. After all, many people attend weddings primarily for the food (though it hardly makes sense to me).

If you keep a lean guest list, your catering vendor should be able to serve everyone comfortably and even save a few plates for the couple to take home (you may not have the time or appetite to eat during the event).

Venue & Rentals: The choice of your wedding venue will be determined by a few key factors, such as;

• Your primary areas of residence (and those of your key family members).

• Your guest list size and capacity requirements (especially if you want to have multiple events in one location). We held our engagement/traditional ceremony and reception at the same venue.

• Venue amenities (e.g., parking, power supply, seating, restrooms).

• The overall aesthetic or vibe you want for your wedding (e.g., indoor vs. outdoor, formal vs. casual).

• Availability of the venue on your preferred date (because Nigerians love to party).

For everyone else:

Entertainment: Live bands, DJs, and hypemen are great for guests. I actually recommend getting a live band. They know how to get people in the mood to spray money (trust me, you will love it 🙂).

Decor, Lighting & Rentals: These elements are primarily for the audience’s benefit and don’t need to be overly elaborate. Focus on designs that are functional, aesthetically pleasing, and great for your photos.

Stationery, Banners & Signage: These add a thoughtful touch to your event and can enhance the overall decor. While not essential, they help tie the theme together beautifully.

In the end, your wedding is about you and your partner. Focus your time and budget on the things that bring you joy and leave a lasting impact. Let the rest serve its purpose but stay within reason.

I should also mention that event planners often prioritize their own motives and may recommend expensive vendors that enhance their profile and portfolio. For instance, our wedding planner booked both the photographer and catering vendors who had served at Davido’s wedding—hoping we’d feature on BellaNaija Weddings or so.

It’s crucial to communicate your budget clearly and stick to it. Always review their vendor recommendations critically, compare alternatives, and don’t hesitate to push back if a suggestion feels unnecessary or overpriced. Remember, it’s your wedding, and every decision should ultimately reflect your vision and priorities.

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How did we manage our parents?

Parents are often the most challenging aspect of wedding planning, especially in the Nigerian context. Their strong opinions are usually rooted in tradition, religion, societal expectations, and their own reputations. For many, a wedding is as much their event as it is yours.

Parents may insist on inviting a large number of distant relatives, church members, and community leaders to avoid offending anyone or to maintain their social standing.

Nigerian parents are often preoccupied with “what people will say” and avoiding any actions that could bring shame to the family.

Christian parents, in particular, may push for a full church wedding officiated by a specific denomination or pastor, regardless of the couple’s preferences. They might also emphasize pre-marital counseling or adherence to religious guidelines that influence decisions like the wedding date, attire, or ceremony structure.

Many parents see your wedding as an opportunity to relive or improve upon their own experiences, often projecting their unfulfilled dreams or expectations onto your plans.

The best way to manage parents is to stand firm and establish your non-negotiables—especially if you’re funding the wedding and working with an event planner.

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Our guest list and invites

We managed to stick to a very reasonable guest list.

We made it clear to everyone that this was not a community wedding—it was strictly by invitation. Invitation cards admitted only one person, bouncers would be stationed at the gate, and guest names would be posted at the entrance.

Our actual RSVPs the day before the wedding totaled 186 guests, excluding vendors and the one or two people our parents and/or friends may have snuck in without our notice 😐.

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Colors and moodboard

We let the decorators and event planner handle the stress of deciding on the moodboard for the wedding venue—though we provided our input, of course.

My wife and I also selected the colors of the day for all our attire, as well as for our family, friends, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and others.

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Couple counselling

Everyone—family, friends, pastors, social media, and well-wishers—will have an opinion about what your wedding should look like, how your marriage should be run, how many children you should have, and how soon you should start having them.

Once they know you plan to get married, everyone switches into advisor mode. Most of the time, they should take their own advice—or, more likely, abandon it—because the evidence from their own marriages (or lack thereof) often speaks volumes.

Remember that their advice is shaped by their experiences and belief systems, which may not necessarily apply to your own context. Take it with a pinch of salt and focus on what makes you and your partner happy.

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Church wedding & doctrine

For couples intending to have a “church wedding,” you’ll typically need to go through a series of weekly counseling sessions. They will also require you to take some tests before the day of the wedding, including a pregnancy test, Hepatitis B, and HIV.

My wife and I were wed at a Christ Apostolic Church (CAC), as her parents are high-standing pastors there. My parents are also high-standing pastors in another church, so you can imagine the religious pressure we faced from both sides.

I went on one of my many Twitter rants when the marriage counselor told me I would have to cut my hair low on the wedding day. My wife was also required to refrain from wearing any makeup or adornment and follow several other doctrinal regulations of the CAC before we could be wed in the church.

Many of these doctrines, in my opinion, lack scriptural backing, logical soundness, or practical relevance. My argument is that all church founders or general overseers had roots in other Christian denominations, and much of their doctrines were shaped by the founders’ personal convictions, cultural backgrounds, or historical influences. None of these rules are prerequisites for a successful marriage—or even for getting to heaven.

To be honest, I’m not even a fan of church weddings.

Most church weddings are not recognized by the laws of the state, which is why you still need to be legally joined at a marriage registry before or after the church wedding. So, what’s the point? I say, wed at a marriage registry and save your money!

Long story short, we stood our ground and didn’t succumb to their doctrines. We looked fantastic in church—makeup, full hair, and all 🙂. We were even an hour and thirty minutes late to church on the wedding day because we were taking pictures at the hotel. We had been shooting since 3 a.m. that morning... but more on that later.

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Court wedding & legalities

If you want to get married on a tight budget—or no budget at all—head to a marriage registry and get it done. It won’t cost you more than ₦100,000.

The requirements are quite straightforward:

• Means of identification

• One counseling session to be scheduled

• A registration fee (₦25,000 at the time)

• ₦8,000 cash on the day of the ceremony (not sure what this is for)

• 1 carton of malt and a bottle of Veleta wine (on the day of the ceremony)

• Some extra cash for miscellaneous billing by the officials (as is common in Nigeria)

You should also be able to start processing a change of name—if you feel the need to, and have the strength to wrestle with the Nigerian system of documentation. From my conversations with fellow newlyweds, most of us agree we don’t have the energy for that right now, so we’re content with our marriage certificates and won’t be changing surnames anytime soon ✌🏾.

I also think that if you’ve had the trifecta of weddings on different dates—court, church, and traditional—your official wedding anniversary should be the day you were legally joined. But that’s just my opinion. You do you 🙂.

Traditional rites, introduction & engagement

Traditional ceremonies are quite beautiful. If I were to choose again, I’d do the court and traditional ceremonies.

I particularly enjoy Yoruba traditional weddings. The vibrant colors, music, dancing, and cultural rites make them joyous and memorable events. However, one major issue I have with the ceremony is how exploitative the alagas (traditional wedding coordinators) can be.

Alagas are responsible for anchoring the event, leading the proceedings, and ensuring everything runs according to Yoruba customs. Unfortunately, they often demand unnecessary fees from the groom, the families, and even the groomsmen during the event.

They may delay proceedings until their financial demands are met or insist on collecting "symbolic" money for every small step in the ceremony—from unveiling the bride to presenting the engagement items—all of which goes directly into their pocket, not to the bride’s family, in addition to the agreed fee for their services.

The key is to find an alaga who is professional and transparent about their fees so you can enjoy the event without unnecessary stress or financial surprises. But honestly, this is highly unlikely. Prepare to be sick of them 🙂.

I have to end this here because the more I write, the more it feels like I’m about to publish a New York Times Best Seller on Nigerian weddings. You’ll have to pay me for the rest of the gist and/or marital advice!

What do you think? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

I’ll be sharing more templates and sociocultural commentaries like these in upcoming issues. If you’re looking for my takes and templates on marketing, go to my Marketing In Action Newsletter.